Have a Pesky Coworker?
Bridge the gap with difficult coworkers with these three creative tools. Nir Bashan for Psychology Today
In many companies, the culture of a workplace is not measured by a mission statement. A foosball table at the office. Or even a free lunch once a week. It is measured by how leadership deals with the most difficult coworkers, the ones who complain, slack off, gossip or showboat. What is tolerated and what is unacceptable, in terms of behavior, is often the benchmark of the culture of the company.
Some of the most difficult interactions we will have at work today deal with a co-worker who is difficult to deal with. Perhaps they are a constant complainer – nothing is ever good enough and every assignment is another opportunity to complain. Perhaps they are a hotshot – every exposure to management is a chance for them to outshine the rest of the team by showing themselves off. Perhaps it’s the slacker – a person who won’t or can’t complete an assignment on their own to save their lives. Or perhaps it’s the gossip – the person who insists on knowing every little salacious detail of people’s private life way more than, say, their actual job assignment. Yet in all these cases dealing that that pesky, challenging and difficult coworker can be achieved by practicing these three creative skills which will enable you to bridge the gap with that coworker and move on to a more harmonious work environment.
1. Ignore Them
Sometimes the best thing you can do when you have a coworker who is difficult is to ignore them. There have been many coworkers I have had the displeasure of working alongside over the years who eventually go away. How do they go away? They self-destruct.
Even in the most permissive workplace where a toleration for the pesky coworker’s antics is high, what eventually happens is that this coworker will keep pressing their luck until their violations become outright absurd. And that that point they either get fired or they leave. There is usually no other outcome for that pesky coworker.
That is why steering well clear of this coworker can be a solid strategy in how to deal with them. Ignoring them has another side benefit – and that is the association gap. Sometimes it is best to disassociate with a particular employee who have demonstrated pesky behavior – this is especially true of the workplace gossip – so that their behaviors does not tarnish yours.
2. Be Positive
Positivity is the langue of creativity and innovation. There is no solution worth pursuing for dealing with that pesky coworker that will come from anger, being upset or distressed. In many ways these emotions punish you and not the offender, so staying positive is critical. Even if you end up reporting that pesky coworker to HR or to your manager, nothing may get done. So staying positive about your situation is paramount. And it’s in your control.
Instead of looking at that pesky coworker who keeps stealing credit for an assignment or who cheats others, look at any positive manifestation of their activity that you can take away. For instance, sometimes the best thing we can learn is what not to do – so that when we are in a similar position or faced with similar decisions in the future, we can choose to do something other than what that pesky coworker has done. Remember, life is full of opportunities to learn even if we are learning what not to do. Sometimes learning what not to do is better than learning what to do, so keeping positive and learning along the way is essential. No matter how the lessons come.
3. Talk It Out
Sometimes talking it out is a good course of action with a pesky coworker. When we talk it out with that pesky coworker, we may uncover some path forward worth pursuing to resolve issues. For instance, it may be you who is misinterpreting what that pesky coworker is doing as showboating – and if given the chance to talk it out – that pesky coworker could have a legitimate reason for all that showboating: like they were recently passed over for a promotion or they left their last job after being looked over for a raise. You never know where people are coming from if you just assume that you know why their behaviors is as it is.
Talking it out can also uncover reasons for their behavior that give you some clue in how to deal with this coworker. If they are a gossip perhaps they have a habitual fear of being left out. If they are slackers perhaps they are looking for another job as they are unfulfilled in their current role. Being open to understanding that when we talk it out we may uncover some real motivations behind their behaviors. Motivations which may not have been as it appears initially. And this may give you the ability to not only tolerate this pesky coworker but also to emphasize with them after all.
I have hired and fired a thousand people in my career. And I have consulted with several companies and given keynotes at countless HR and employee performance conferences. And in each case dealing with a pesky coworker just may come down to how you perceive that coworkers interaction. That perception may be real or it may be flawed. But in each case using the above three tools to deal with that pesky coworker may lead to a road of resolution that you can navigate for the rest of your career.
